We have all been faced with people and/or literature that
propose that we move ahead with positive thinking. What goes through your mind when someone
suggests that you have positive thinking?
Do you think they are lame and not realistic? Do you wonder if they are rowing with both
oars in the water? Do you wonder if they
are in touch with reality?
Well I assure you that they are indeed in touch with reality. It has been proven that 90% of the negative things
that we fear will happen will never happen.
Therefore, positive thinking is more realistic than negative
thinking.
Even though positive thinking is more realistic people often
find themselves entertaining unhelpfully negative thoughts. This is something that needs to be
changed. The first step in changing these
automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) is to recognize them. The following are some common types of
negative thoughts.
All or Nothing Thinking (Dichotomous Reasoning)
Thinking in terms of black and white. Never allowing for any grey areas. Thinking that that things are all one way or
another without there being a middle ground.
E.g. If I can’t do it
perfectly I might as well not do it at all.
E.g. There is no way
that I will get all of this done so I might as well not even start it.
E.g. This apartment
complex is so bad you won’t find anything good about it.
Catastrophising
Thinking that something intolerable will happen. Exaggerating the odds that a disaster will
happen.
E.g. I am going to
look foolish and people will call me an idiot.
E.g. What if I haven’t
turned the oven off and the kitchen catches on fire.
E.g. If I don’t give
a good presentation I will get fired.
Emotional Reasoning
Making the error of accepting feelings as facts. Holding negative feelings as facts because
they feel true.
E.g. I feel useless
therefore I must be useless.
E.g. I feel unattractive
therefore I must be unattractive.
Mind Reading
Assuming the way people think or feel without having any
real proof of their thoughts or feelings.
E.g. It was obvious
to me that she thought that I was an idiot during the interview.
E.g. She must like
him more than me because she was talking to him.
Should Statements
Using “ought,” “must” and “should.” Using these words can set up expectations
that are just not real.
E.g. People should
always be nice to me.
E.g. I should never
lose my temper.
Fortune Telling Error
Awaiting a particular outcome and holding your prediction as
fact. Expecting negative results could
end up self-fulfilling.
E.g. The partnership
is sure to fail.
E.g. The deal is
going to fall through so there is no need to try to put it together.
E.g. Things have
always been like this, they will never change.
Magnification/Minimization
“Exaggerating” negative circumstances and information and
minimizing positive information and circumstances.
E.g. They noticed
that I spilled something on my skirt.
E.g. She said that we
would go to the mall together but I bet she doesn’t call.
E.g. Being there for
my friend when she miscarried still does not excuse me for standing her up last
month.
Personalizing
Claiming that something is your fault when it is not. Thinking that you are the reason that people
do what they do.
E.g. Carrie is pretty
cranky. It must be because of something
I’ve said.
E.g. You can tell
that she does not like me or she would have greeted me.
Filtering (Selective Abstraction)
When you focus on the negatives and overlook the
positives. Holding on to your negative
view of the situation regardless of proof.
E.g. I know that she
said the report was really good but she also noticed some errors. She must think I am no good.
Overgeneralization
Using one piece of evidence or a single event to come to a
conclusion. Expecting something bad to
happen simply because it has happened before.
The words always and never are included in these thoughts
.
E.g. I forgot to pick
up that prescription. I never get things
done.
E.g. He did not ask
me back out. I’ll never have a
relationship.
(Facts used in this blogpost can be found at http://www.thehappinessinstitute.com/freeproducts/docs/Examples%20Of%20Unhelpful%20Thinking.pdf)
If you learned anything new from this article then please leave a comment.
