Affluent Children, the New At Risk Kids

Children who have wealthy parents contribute most to the growing number of teenage suicides per year.  This growing group of kids from upper class families are the new class of “at risk “ kids.

Large numbers of children from upper class families are participating in drug and alcohol use.  They are riddled with anxiety and depression.  These tendencies lead to self-destructive behaviors like cutting, violent crimes, eating disorders and suicide.

It can no longer be taken for granted that children with these types of destructive behaviors must come from poverty stricken backgrounds.  These behaviors are more seen amongst teens who are affluent.

There are two reasons that predicate these destructive behaviors.  One reason is “achievement pressure from parents.”  The other reason is “isolation (or alienation) from parents.”

It is more common than not that children want to feel that they are accepted by their parents.  In fact, most children will do just about anything to gain their parent’s acceptance.  This would include cheating on tests to bring home the kind of report card that their parents will accept or to get into the university that their parents want them to attend.

The kind of pressure to achieve that is experienced in these cases is unbearable for these teens.  They feel that being average is the same as being a failure.  They feel that the only way to gain acceptance by their parents is to do excellently in everything that they try.

Children who come from upper class families are often not allowed to fall.  They may not get into the university of their choosing if they have a blemish on their record so their parents will try to smooth things out by offering donations or favors.  As a result, affluent children don’t get to learn the coping skills that are necessary to bounce back from a failure. 

Many children from upper class families report feeling empty.  This results from parents who micromanage their kids.  They don’t allow their kids the opportunity to find out who they want to be.  The children end up feeling like empty shells that are put in place only to be what their parents want them to be.

Parents who are affluent have busy lives with schedules that are full of work, business trips and social obligations.  They don’t have time to share meals with their kids, do homework together, or engage in deep conversations.  This leaves the children feeling isolated.

“Kids who experience isolation feel no sense of emotional closeness or warmth with their parents.  They fail to develop secure attachments to them, which causes developmental problems that carry into adulthood.” (Stern, J)

What can you do to make sure that your child is not counted amongst the ones that are being involved in self-destructive behavior?  Well, you can start with something simple like making an effort to eat dinner with your kids.  “Studies show that families who eat dinner together at least five times a week have kids who use significantly less tobacco, alcohol and marijuana.”  (Stern, J)

Another thing that you can do is be there for your kids.  Be a constant presence in your child’s life.  Don’t smother them.  Stand back enough to let them make their own mistakes and to learn the consequences of their actions.  Be there to help them get back up when they fall.

Give your children acceptance.  Resist the temptation to mold your child into a likeness that you imagine would please you.  Acknowledge what their individual unique talents are and help to develop them. 

Give your kids your time.  Kids actually want to spend time with their parents.  Eat dinner together, play games together, spend time talking with each other.

Replace the emptiness in your child’s life with affection.  Your children need you to nurture them.  They need you to give them time, attention, and care.

(This article was written via “Why Your Kids Are at GreaterRisk Than Ever,” by Dr. Joanne Stern”