We live in a very competitive society. We are taught to compete with each other from
an early age. We run races in gym class
and compete for the competitive spot of Valedictorian. The tendency to look at others, compare
ourselves and try to do better does not stop in school. When we get older we compare ourselves to our
neighbors, people we work with and characters that we see on television or in
the movies.
It has become second nature to compare yourself to
others. This is especially true in
groups of affluent and talented people. These
are people who are often driven to be the best.
Perhaps it is this striving to be the best that brought them success in
the first place.
Compare Yourself to Yourself
There is nothing wrong with having a competitive spirit if
you could keep it along the lines of healthful competition. Most people don’t, however. Most people compare themselves to others and
lose every time. In the rare case that
they should win they become arrogant. It
is much more healthful to compare yourself to yourself.
“Compare yourself to yourself” is the advice that is often
freely given. This advice is easily
given but not so easily taken. We live
in a world that defines the winning spot as the spot that belongs to the best
and there is usually only room for one.
The one that is at the very top.
We tend to look at that person and make comparisons to ourself.
Making it to the top becomes an all-encompassing obsession
with many of us. To compare yourself
with yourself never enters your mind because we are taught to compare ourselves
with those that are “better” than we are.
We compare ourselves to that person and worry ourselves silly if we don’t
take that number one spot. What’s worse
is we convey these feelings to those who are our dependents.
It rarely dawns on us that more than one can be the
winner. The objective seems to always be
to take the number one spot. This puts
you under the constant stress that someone is going to be better than you are.
We are all at varying stages of our development. The problem with comparing yourself with
others is you tend to compare your parts that aren’t so developed with the very
developed parts of another. This is why
you lose every time. This is exactly why
you should only compare yourself with yourself.
When you compare yourself with yourself you compare yourself to your own
varying stages and are able to gauge how to realistically do better.
There Are Ways to Escape the Comparison Trap
Everybody that I know does the best that they can do. However, this does not stop them from playing
the comparison game. If you find that
you are playing the comparison game there are several steps that you can take
to stop this horrible habit.
Put Your Well Being First
When you compare yourself to others who you think are doing
better you hack away at your own self esteem.
Discontinue this negative self-talk.
Whenever you find that you are comparing yourself to another replace the
negative self-talk with a positive statement about yourself. You can choose what you say to yourself. Choose to say things that will make you feel
happy not things that will make you feel inferior.
Learn from the Past Mistakes
If you think that your performance has not been as good as
your peers don’t let this railroad you into the comparison trap. Take note of the things that you think you
did not do as well as you could and learn from those experiences. This is the only way you will know what you
can do better next time around.
Refuse to Live With Guilt
Guilt shackles us to the past as we dwell on all of the
things that we did wrong. Learn to
forgive yourself and to start anew. Don’t
compare your wrongs with what someone else is doing right. Besides, who’s to say that they, themselves,
have some things that they have done wrong that you have done right.
Conclusion
The comparison game is a trap. Learn to recognize when you are comparing
yourself to others and stop the harmful behavior immediately. Learn to only compare yourself to yourself. This way you can healthily gauge where you
were and become better than you have been
If you learned anything new from this article then please leave a comment.
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